**WARNING**

I CUSS AND I TRY TO BE FUNNY! BOTH MAY OFFEND YOU.

A little about me:

I am a proud wife and mother of four and no I am not counting my husband Robert as one of the four, even though he openly admits that he can act like a child. My older three are my bonus kids (Thank you Chris Hardwick). My oldest daughter is a Type 1 diabetic and all four of them are certified little shits sometimes, but aren’t all kids? Of course, my husband and I have diagnosed them ourselves and we are not doctors… so this may or may not be an actual medical condition. I am not a “typical” mom. I have piercing and tattoos and I cuss. A lot. We are all a little… off, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Being a parent and being an adult in general, is one of the hardest thing someone can do. If you are anything like me, you are in constant fear of screwing everything up. I know I’m not alone in this boat. Actually, this boat is pretty damn full. So, why suffer alone? Why not try to find the humor in this tornado of a situation we call life?

*cue my nonexistent theme song* This is where I come in.

Hopefully, I can make you, my faithful readers, laugh with some of my crazy rants/thoughts and realize that we are all fucking it up. With that being said, let’s begin with something I do everyday, being a parent.

Parenthood.

It’s rewarding and terrifying; equal parts joy and something that may or may not have crawled out of Satan’s anus. People who have kids will totally understand. People without kids, imagine loving someone so much and occasionally wanting to throat punch them after the 961st time they’ve said “mom” after you’ve answered “what” the same amount of times only for them to scream and run off and you whisper to yourself “are you shitting me?” or having to go into their room 15 times after putting them down for bed and not have anything get accomplished... sorry, too real?

Continuing on now...

Like I said in my nifty introduction, my husband and I have four “angels”. Chris is 12, Kaylee is 10, Noey is 5 and Logan is 3. This year is a big year for all of the kids in some way. Chris is going to middle school (their elementary school goes up to 6th grade) and we are going to have more girl problems than we ever have before, and we are going to have to buy more mirrors for him to look into. Kaylee is going to the 5th grade and is going to be the oldest of our kids at their elementary school. I expect her to continue to be Miss Talkative Bossy Pants and to continue to take her diabetes head on.  Noey will be going to Kindergarten and she is so excited. This will be her first year to go to school all day and I’m not ready for it; she went for half days last year. Logan is potty training and making me very happy that we don’t have carpet in most of our house. Most days are good, but the few days that are not great make me want to say “fuck this, he can wear diapers until he can change them himself!”, but alas I do not. And lastly, Dad and I are finding new gray hairs everyday. So, a big year all around. Don’t get too jealous of our super glamourous life.

I am sure, just like every other year, we will have ups and downs (I hope for more ups). Hopefully, as our lives become increasingly more hectic, I will have plenty of stories and life advice to share with all of you.

So, until next time, stay peculiar.