Potty Training Wheels

If you are reading this, you probably know how to go to the bathroom all by yourself. Whoever raised you, took the time to teach you how to wipe your own ass. Whoever that person is, thank them. Logan is teaching me that potty training is a very thankless task.

This is now my second child to help potty train and I do not remember the first time around being this difficult. Noey started much earlier and was a lot easier to potty train. Logan on the other hand is… let’s just say, difficult. Some days I really do think that I will have to clean him up forever. Or at least until he finds someone else to do it for him.

The majority of the time, he does rather well and we have good potty days. Those days that are not good potty days, though, are the kind of days that drinking like you were at a frat party wouldn’t even come close to cutting it. The days where you’ve had to do 3 loads of only 2 or 3 pieces of clothing because he is refusing to poop in the toilet, so you end up with multiple pairs of underwear with a little bit of poop in them. That is, until the inevitable time where he lets it all go at once and you have to clean up poop that is the size of a grown man’s fist.

**SIDENOTE** If you don’t have kids and this grosses you out, don’t have kids because THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU and you are not ready.

Just like in everything else with raising kids (and life in general), everyone is different. This is especially true when it comes to potty training. Some kids enjoy getting stickers on a chart or a treat for motivation. I have had to resort to flat out bribery. Do not judge me, you don’t know my life. Cookies at the end of the end of the day was the first bribe. That was good for a few weeks. Granted Logan loves him some cookies, but that wouldn’t fly now. Since he pees in the potty pretty well now, we have to work on getting him to poop there too. Apparently, poop costs more. Toy cars to be exact and I am proud to report that he did manage to get one toy car this week. I never knew I would be so happy for poop in a toilet. Oh the joys of parenthood.

I am constantly saying that I don’t want Logan to get bigger, all of the kids for that matter, but I want him to at least be potty trained before I find a way to make them all stop growing and stay the same age forever. I honestly don’t want to clean up bodily functions for much longer! If I had to do it forever, I would have to buy stock in Yellow Tail wine and all of my hair would be grey with in a year.

Like I said before, if you don’t have kids this is what you have to look forward to. If you do have kids and you have dealt with or are dealing with this now, stay strong my fellow warriors.

Until next time, avoid bathroom accidents and stay peculiar.